New York: Empathy or self-absorption?
Translated from the French original — read it here.
New York, 24 July
A tragic event happened last week that affected the New York salsa community deeply. A young woman from the city, 21 years old, died in a car accident in Argentina. She was an excellent dancer who had been part of two very prestigious salsa companies in the Big Apple: Zafire and Flamboyan. An evening was held in her honour yesterday at DanceSport, and many of her friends paid tribute to her. There were more than twenty quality shows that night and all the proceeds went to her family.
I wasn't sure I wanted to go at first. For a start, I'd never met this young woman, and I'd never even heard of her before this tragedy... Wasn't it better to leave everyone who knew her well to grieve together? Beyond that, it was mainly the way the news reached me that gave me a lot to think about. It came via a Facebook post from one of the dancer's friends, urging people who didn't know her to stop posting messages about their own grief on that social network. She said all of it very... bluntly. Well, this was the day after the news broke, so she must still have been in shock, but she flatly called the people she was targeting "a..holes". I discussed it with my flatmate, who also thought some people were perhaps trying to draw attention to their sorrow, or simply to themselves, by saying: "look at me, write to me, I'm unhappy".....
You'll almost certainly find me naive, but I don't think that's the case for most of the people who posted messages. We human beings genuinely have this capacity for empathy and can be affected by events that don't concern us directly — quite simply. In the end I did go to the evening, and I felt a deep sadness watching the photos of Moira scroll past on the screen set up for the occasion in the dance hall. I'd never met her, but seeing those images of this very beautiful, very young person among her friends, taking selfies, posing in her stage costumes, gave the evening a tragic edge...
The performances lived up to the occasion. High-flying pieces followed one after another, with some particularly moving moments, especially when the companies Moira had danced with took the stage. The performers were visibly and palpably emotional....
The family's presence, in the front row of the audience, added a certain solemnity to it all. Some of them apparently said they'd been particularly touched by all the messages they'd received.
Moira, I didn't know you and I never met you, but your death affected me. I'm sad that you left so young, especially when I see all the potential you had; I'm sad for the family and the friends you leave behind... I'm not a self-absorbed, narcissistic "a...hole"... Just a human being, affected by events that don't concern him directly, but thinking that perhaps it could happen to him too (that's part of empathy, no?) or simply sharing in the feeling with people who are sad.